So, I'm taking this trip. It's a trip I have taken many, many times before. It's usually the occasional visit, but lately I seem to live in the neighborhood that houses Memory Lane. I am a mom. There is no way humanly possible to explain to someone how it is that a mom has all of her memories of her children etched on her heart, but it's true. And right about now, Memory Lane is a crazy place to be. You see, my firstborn just graduated! While it may seem odd that this creates such insane feelings for me (I mean, for goodness sake, it's only eighth grade; she's not going into college!) I am watching my "baby", my "little girl" turn into a beautiful, sweet, intelligent young woman. And it's crazy!
I look at her and what do I see? No more little chubby cheeks and tight, curly locks that flow to her waist. I don't see bruised legs and little hands. I see a young WOMAN! I see muscular calves and awesome curves, eyes that twinkle with the new wonder that life is bringing her and maturity beyond belief. It's amazing and hard all at the same time. My eyes have been moistened with tears more times than I care to count in the last two weeks. When I watched her receive her MVP trophy for track, when she was honored with the President's award for Academic Excellence, when she walked up to get her Honors Pin. But even more when I watched her dance with her daddy for the father/daughter dance and when I watched her and her girlfriends giggle as they took group shots -- all dressed in clothing fit for a woman, not little girls. Heels, hair, nails; the whole nine yards. And when I took a "couples picture" and she was the other half of a couple; how I watched a young man look at her with such sweetness that I found I had a lump in my throat! And my trip down Memory Lane started.
THEN:
 |
| NOW: |
This time it wasn't a short stint in this place, it's been a mini vacation. And I was through this neighborhood, and walk down this lane, I visit all my fellow moms (and dads) littering this land where they are all watching the reels of their children's lives passing before them. I watch their eyes mist and hear when their hearts mutter silent prayers of thanks, protection and awe, just as mine does. We sit there, on the curb of this lane, shell-shocked -- knowing that it's happening but not knowing how it happens so fast! Loving every moment,but trying to hold on for just a bit longer. So excited for the possibilities that life has in store for them, but so torn by the memories of these little ones -- so dependant on us, their lives revolving around us and what we provide for their survival, their little wings barely showing and wonder what will be. So, we loosen our grip, allow the wings that are almost fully grown (ALMOST) and we watch them take their baby steps to leaving the nest and again, a silent prayer -- of thanks, protection and awe. So for now, I think I will just hang out on this street, this Lane, for a bit. I will take it all in. I will treasure the shots flashing through my mind, as I hold tight for what's in store next and then, whatever is created by the next part of her life...I will keep those guarded in this neighborhood and revisit in until my last days!
